Monday, May 21, 2012

God is a Place

Lightning flashed. He waited for the crash of thunder, but it never came. He walked among the miniature tombstones searching for his daughter, carrying a dozen red lilies.

“I don’t want to go this year," his son told him this morning.

It broke his heart. He always envisioned her as his son’s partnered angel. She existed, sight unseen, looking over him, watching, guiding, protecting. She, above all, loved him.

He found her tombstone: Infant Williams. He regretted not naming her. Alexis he decided, two years too late. He knelt down, slid his finger over the grooves in the granite, and brooded. She would have been six today.

Tears flowed as memories flooded his mind. He remembered her birth. She was light as a feather. Her lungs pulled in a single breath. Her eyes opened, flashing a sea of blue. A holy spectacle, which he thought would last forever, lasted only for him. In his dreams, she was alive and crying.

She sat across the tombstone from him. Her legs folded, her head resting in her hands, she sank her deep blue eyes into his soul.

Don’t cry for me, father.

“I want to hold you in my arms. I want to feel your face on my cheek. I want to see you play. I want to find you again.”

You will. God is a place. We'll wait for you there. She stood and turned, her wings folded against her spine. Don't worry about brother, I've talked to him. The wind howled, kicking up dead autumn leaves. She ran into the cold, damp air, and disappeared into the fading image of her mother.

He set down half the lilies and walked to the other side of the cemetery. Now he could hear the thunder.





(Inspired by the song Two Headed Boy Pt. 2 by Neutral Milk Hotel)
Many thanks to Cherie Reich for hosting this.

57 comments:

  1. I adore the angel aspect in this flash piece. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. My pleasure, thanks for reading. The angel angle (type that three times fast) is one I'd like to fully explore in the future.

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  2. Thank you for entering my 2nd Annual Flash Fiction Blogfest! The six finalists will be announced on Friday, May 25th. I will further comment on your entry on Thursday.

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  3. Excellent story, Von. Nicely constructed with emotionally gripping events and a positive uplifting ending.

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  4. How sad! :( Great entry, though! Best of luck. :)

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  5. Stunning! I am literaly on the verge of tears.

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    1. That song brought me to tears when I heard it years ago. It takes me to that edge every time I hear it.

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  6. What a sweet and sad tale. Nicely done.

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  7. I really liked this line: "He knelt down, slid his finger over the grooves in the granite, and brooded" I think it's the mix of the tactile and physical with the emotion.

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    1. Thanks, Libby. I really like to know what works, and your comment is very helpful.

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  8. How sad. I can feel his raw emotions so vividly.

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  9. I had to hold back the tears. I felt everything he did and more.

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  10. I love angels, ghosts, and anything to do with the after life so you automatically win me over with that :) What I really loved most about this was the emotion I felt. This was great, very touching.

    Andrea

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    1. The supernatural is something I've avoided. I think I'm ready to explore it in the future.

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  11. Heartbreaking. I especially like that he only thought to name her a couple years after the fact.

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  12. Oh, how touching. I love the simplicity and the emotions you were able to convey with your words. Why are the graves on opposite sides of the cemetery though?

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  13. I wondered the same thing. I was walking in a cemetery recently when I noticed that every tombstones around me was tiny. On them were the names of children, most day old infants, some without names. It was quite somber and touching. The feeling of sadness was immense, the pure randomness of a life not lived really overwhelmed me. I wondered where their parents were. I imagined they were on some other corner of the cemetery.

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  14. What a touching piece. Despite the thunder and lightning it felt so peaceful.

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    1. Thanks, Angeline. I love your avatar.

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  15. Heartbreaking and sad for the father to be left behind. His attachment was well etched . Great entry.

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  16. Very moving. I love how you ended it.

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  17. So sad, but there is hope woven in at the end. Nice writing!

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  18. I loved that story. It was very moving.

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  19. Very touching. I can't believe that was so short. You put a lot in so few words.

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  20. It's such a sad story! But I like it. I especially enjoyed the detail of him thinking of her name two years too late. It makes the story seem very realistic.

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    1. Thanks, Becky. I'm glad you liked it.

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  21. Touching, sad and very well written.

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  22. Such a touching and powerful story. I hope that's something I don't have to go through.

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    1. Thanks, Michael. Yeah, I can only imagine how hard it must be, and so many people have had to endure it over the ages.

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  23. This is definitely one of the most beautiful pieces that I've read thus far. :-)

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    1. Thanks, Misha. Congratulations on your first novel coming out soon.

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  24. Your lines "You will. God is a place. We'll wait for you there." gave me chills... and (yes, this is a true story) at the exact moment that I read them, a powerful gust of wind raked the branches of the tree in my front yard across the window of my living room and shook my front door. It was completely silent all night prior to this, so it's safe to say that I am sufficiently creeped out in addition to being emotionally rocked to the point of tears over your subject matter. Being able to capture such a level of sadness in such a limited amount of words and without having lived through the situation yourself is a reflection of true talent. Well done, Sir. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go turn on all the lights in my house...

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    1. Thanks for the kind words. Also, you made me laugh. I'm sorry you got scared. It's always nice to hear stuff like this.

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  25. Aww, such a touching and sad piece. Great job!

    I'll announce the finalists on Friday.

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    1. From what I've read, you have a tough job. Thanks for your hard work.

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  26. Heartbreaking, though expertly written. Well done.
    Some Dark Romantic

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  27. Oh beautiful. I love that we get to hear her speak to him :)

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  28. What a beautiful, sad piece. Great job with the blog fest.

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  29. I have awarded you the Versatile Blogger Award. Please stop by for the details.

    http://acreativeexcercise.blogspot.com/

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